Gilligan's Island Gone Wrong

I have to admit that the Fourth of July has always been a good experience. My father and his palls from The Kingston Optimist Club started Roane River Festival back in the early 90s. It was a several-day long festival around the Fourth of July with boat races, carnivals, vendors, and the area's best fireworks. Every year since, Kingston has maintained the best fireworks around and continues festivities. I've always had a great experience on the Fourth, going to Kingston to watch them, eating the best food and getting the best seats on the lake front. However, I have always wanted to be out on the lake on the Fourth, but never had the chance. My father said all the "crazy people" are out on the water on the Fourth, and he didn't want to risk the family getting hurt by some crazy drunk driver, much less deal with the insane amount of boat traffic. So today we were offered a boating trip by some of Adam's friends. I really didn't want to miss Kingston's fireworks, but knew I may never get another chance to go out on the lake on the Fourth, so we decided to go.
We drove up to Norris Lake to a marina where the friends of the friends had a houseboat, called Mixed Nutz and a pontoon boat. Basically when it all came down to it, our boating experience was to take place while driving a passenger/owner of the pontoon boat to Maynardville (2 1/2 hours away by boat) to deliver a birthday card to his friend, whose birthday was today - aww how sweet! Things were going pretty well but we knew that we needed a few more life jackets to have the regulation 1 life jacket per passenger. I am a big stickler about these rules because my father always was when we had a boat. I knew that if we didn't have enough life jackets that inevitably we would be pulled over by TWRA (boat police), and get fined for the lack of life jackets.
Lo and behold, it happened. The driver got fined $167 for being short 1 life jacket (luckily I can fit into a YOUTH sized life jacket or the fine would have been higher)! After that we still had a long way to go to Maynardville. The clouds started thickening and the sky started getting darker as we go closer to Maynardville. We finally reached our destination 2 1/2 hours later and then had to deliver the birthday card, say our hellos and goodbyes, and off we went back home. By this time the sky is looking pretty fierce in the direction that we were going. It started lightening in the distance and then it started raining. The rain finally got so fierce that we had to beach the pontoon on a small island and run for cover in the trees. I know you are not supposed to stand under a tree when it is lightening but we all figured it the safer alternative to being in a slow-paced metal lightening rod gliding across a completely empty lake!
So we took cover in the trees, and put a tarp over us to keep the rain off as best as possible when someone says that we should probably check for ticks when we get home - gross! As I started looking down to exactly where we were standing, I realized that we were standing in poison ivy. Finally the storm started to lighten up enough to where we could get back in the boat and head home as the last glimpse of sunlight left us!

Note to self: Never go out on the lake on the Fourth of July

So to make this a little more fun to read I have composed a song, "Mixed Nutz Isle," about our experience to the tune of the Gilligan's Island song.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a horrible trip
That started from this redneck marina
Aboard this slow-paced ship.

The mate was a mighty irresponsible man,
The skipper knew the way for sure.
Ten passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, A THREE HOUR TOUR!

The weather started getting rough,
With lightening all around
The rain-soaked crew sought shelter in some trees
With ivy on the ground, with ivy on the ground.

The Mixed Nutz set ground on the shore of this lake island
With The Squirrel Master
The Skipper too,
The Engineer and his soon-to-be wife,
The other people
The Physical Therapist and Mandy Lou,
Here on Mixed Nutz Isle.

So this is the tale of the castways,
They had an poison ivy laden climb,
They wanted a Fourth on the lake,
But this is the very last time.

The first mate and the Skipper too,
Were surprisingly sharp,
To make the others comfortable,
They covered them with a tarp.

No phone, no lights, no other boats,
Not a single luxury
Like cats getting a bath
As miserable as can be.

So join us here each week my friends,
You're sure to get a smile,
From ten stranded castways,
Here on "Mixed Nutz Isle."