The Breaking Point...

...well, not quite, but it felt like it!  As I mentioned in the previous post, Ryne cried for an hour and a half last night.  It's so hard to hear and so hard to bare.  He did sleep through the night last night though, so that was a bit of a relief!
Then came naptime today, or what was supposed to be naptime, today.  Ryne and I ran some errands this morning, a little earlier than ususal.  I usually wait to run errands until after his morning nap, but that means it's usually mid afternoon before we leave to go anywhere.  This morning, we were out the door by 9:45!  I wasn't expecting to be gone as long as we were, but I also thought he would fall asleep on the way home from the errands if we were out past his naptime.  Well we out for about an hour and a half, so we got home in time to give Ryne some food and let him get settled down for his nap.  He played around a little and started to wind down so I made a bottle and took him to his room to rock him a minute and he started getting fussy.  I tried to calm him down but he wasn't having it!  So I put him in his crib, thinking he would cry a few minutes and wear himself out and fall asleep.  A few minutes turned into an hour.
That hour seemed like a year! After all the crying last night and the crying during naptime, I thought I was going to break down.  I almost called Adam to tell him that he was going to have to come, so I could step out, chill out and avoid pulling my hair out!  The feelings that arise from Ryne's sleep issues are so complex.  It's heartbreaking and frustrating, and I feel like I'm going to go insane!  I just want to cry, scream and stomp my feet, but you have to keep  your composure around your child.

I really pray that we can get a handle on the sleep issues.  Ryne is always in such a good mood and so happy when he gets enough sleep during the day.  He NEEDS the sleep...and so do I!   I'm much happier when I've had adequate sleep as well!

Regression Depression

Just when I thought Ryne was doing better with his sleep issue and back on track, he proved me wrong!  Last night Ryne went to bed pretty well.  Adam and I actually had a chance to rent a DVD and watch it, which has been a rarity in this house for the past year!  However, Ryne did wake up at 5:45 and wouldn't go back to sleep...without a bottle!  Ugh!  One step forward and two steps back - such is my life it seems!  Waking up at almost 6 in the morning isn't too bad.  It's not like he cried for hours on end just trying to get him to go to bed.  OH wait, that was this night - tonight!  
Ryne cried for an hour and a half tonight!  He hasn't done that in several days.  I had almost forgotten how heartbreaking and depressing it was to hear him cry for over an hour!  He had two good naps today, so it doesn't make much sense, really.  I just hope it doesn't take almost another week to break this cycle as well.  Surely since we have established some routine of going to sleep with minimal fussing and sleeping through the night (at least for a few days in a row),  it won't be as tough.  I pray he sleeps through the night tonight! My emotions cannot handle another night of crying in the wee hours of the morning.  These are trying times on us all!
On a happy note:  Ryne said "up" today when he wanted me to pick him up!

The Real Housewives

This year, during Lent, I considered giving up Bravo TV...after the season of Real Housewives of Orange County was over.  I didn't want "drama" in my life, anymore.  No drama for this mama!  I do believe that you become the things you are around most.  If you're around negativity, you'll become negative.  If you're around positive things, you'll be, well, spectacular, etc.!  Well, RHOC came and went and another Real Housewives started in another city (I think New York), and I was like a moth to a flame.  I was so wrapped up in the drama.  Then the New Jersey season started and I started watching it too.  Adam made the comment one night that he didn't think I was going to continue watching that stuff.  I told him that I didn't really like the Jersey cast  so as soon as NYC was over, I wouldn't be watching it anymore.

And then, I realized how absolutely, unbe-weav-ably psycho Danielle was from the Jersey cast and I haven't been able to stop watching since!  It's like watching a plan crash or a train wreck -  you know something terrible is going to happen but for some reason you just cannot seem to look away!  You become completely engulfed in watching tables being thrown (last season), Jersey girls running through a country club with chinchilla furs on to cuss out a psycho with a scraggly weave!  Adam said that he felt dumber after watching the show!  He asks me every week why I'm STILL watching it!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey - Photos - Teresa vs. Danielle: Blow by Blow | Bravo TV Official Site

I've done a little thinking about why reality TV, especially drama TV is so popular!  I think it makes people (me included) feel more 'normal.'  Now, I've never chased a crazy person through a country club parking lot with a chinchilla fur on or flipped a table, but I have tried to argue/rationalized with a fool (or two or three), I have said things I didn't mean that weren't very nice, and I have gossiped (with no intent to hurt anyone's feelings).  We all do these things on some level just maybe not with a chinchilla fur on!  I think it's interesting to see how "the other half" or really the other 10% live.  Even though they live in multi-million dollar homes, they still have the same problems, and the same crazy friends and family like all the rest of us.

However, I would like to point out to Bravo that filming women who live in multi-million dollar homes and spend money like it's going out of style, is not "real!"  If you want "real," come film my life with my energetic, sleep-hating child, my crazy friends and family (yes, I'm calling you all crazy - good crazy though!), and my PETA friendly wardrobe in my tiny three bedroom/ two bathroom house! It doesn't get more real than this - The Real Housewives of Knox County!
P.S.  Ryne slept through the night last night - back on track!

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Technically, it is Saturday morning here in Knoxville, but when I mention "last night,"  I'm actually talking about Thursday Night/ Friday morning or Day 8 of the Sleep Diary.  Last night, we lost the sleep battle!  Thursday Ryne had his 12 month shots and did not nap very well Thursday.  Adam and I figured that he would probably go down for bedtime pretty well.  Again, Adam "read" to Ryne and Ryne barely took a bottle at bedtime.  We never expected at 2 AM that he would wake up screaming!  We let him cry about 10 minutes to see if he'd go back to sleep but he didn't.  Adam got up to rock him.  Ryne just couldn't get settled back down so I broke down and made a bottle, since he hadn't had a full feeding at bedtime.  Ryne took the bottle and fussed a little more and then finally went back to sleep.  So considering all that, we never expected him to wake up at 7:30!  I mean seriously!  Adam and I like to sleep in on Fridays, especially since I had been baking all day and Adam had worked all week!  I thought we might be able to give Ryne another bottle at 7:30 to see if he might go back to sleep because he woke up crying.  We were not so fortunate!  He was still tired but he was NOT going back to bed.
It felt like a total setback!  We were doing so well!  Ryne and I were finally sleeping through the night for the first time in a year (over a year for me due to pregnancy).  Ryne wasn't requiring a bottle at night!  So to have to wake up and give him a bottle was upsetting!
Ryne hardly napped today (Friday).  Sometimes I think he gets so far off schedule that it's hard to bring him back around to sleeping at all!  If he doesn't sleep well at night, he has a harder time going down for naps, but if he doesn't nap well, it's hard to get him to go down for bedtime.  It's a vicious cycle!  I think he took two 30 minute naps today, which is hardly enough.
Hopefully he will sleep well into the morning so I can get this cake done in peace!

12 months!

Yesterday at 1:45 pm, Ryne turned 1!  It was exciting and depressing all at the same time!  Time flew by so quickly!  It seems like yesterday that he was born...and not a year ago yesterday!  I kind of feel like time was stolen from me when he was born early.  Don't get me wrong, I was so happy to seem him and so happy to finally get to meet him and hold him and so happy to be able to stop having contractions after three weeks of them, but it feels like he shouldn't be one yet.  He should be one next month!
Anywho, back to reality!  Adam's parents came by to see Ryne (and maybe us) last night!  Honestly, I was a little worried that it might be too much excitement for Ryne that late in the evening, and that he might have trouble going to bed, but he didn't!  We even changed up the routine a little bit and had Adam do the bedtime routine with Ryne.  I told Adam that he needed to read Ryne's night night books to him.  So he read  Guess How Much I Love You  in the most boring, monotonous voice ever.  Ryne conked out in a matter of minutes!  I could hear Adam over the monitor and honestly it almost made me pass out, from sheer monotonous boredom!  Ha!  Ryne slept 11 1/2 hours last night!  Hopefully this is becoming the norm for Ryne...and me!!!  It's amazing that it took less than a week to get on a good sleep schedule and sleeping through the night!
Ryne has learned a few new tricks!  He has really gotten into throwing a ball around!  Oh how that makes Daddy happy!  Ryne seems to be right-hand dominant, but he can throw pretty well with both hands/arms! He is mimicking everything that I say.  I mean EVERYthing!  He mimics the intonation of what I say and how I say it!  He pretty much eats anything we eat...well anything that I eat.  He ate lasagna tonight and loved it!
Ryne had his 12 month well check today!  He got two shots, which were no fun.  He cried for a minute and then starred at the nurse with his death look, letting her know that she was on his "list!"  She even asked if he generally holds grudges!  He weighed in at a whopping 19lbs 12 oz, which is in the tenth percentile (on the preemie scale)!  His noggin is still holding out at in the upper 60s to low 70s on the preemie scale.  There must be a big ole brain in the big ole noggin!  He got the go-ahead on whole cow's milk - my purse is thankful for that!
We learned a few interesting things at this well visit.  The AAP recommendation is to know keep children in rear-facing car seats until 2!  WHAAAT!  I actually read this on a memorandum at Ryne's nine month well check, but thought I'd follow up on it.  Apparently, it's not a law, but HIGHLY recommended.  I talked to Dr. P about it.  He said that it is the safest thing, but after a child reaches 18 months or so, it's hard to keep them backwards in the car because they get very fussy!  Ryne still has a few pounds to go before he has to move out of his infant car seat, so we'll see how old he is when he finally reaches 22 lbs and go from there!  Ryne's really observant, so I have a feeling that making it to 18 months will be difficult with him sitting backwards.
Also, since Ryne has six teeth, I had to find out about dentistry!  Again the AAP recommends that you take your 1 year old to the dentist.  Dr. P says that there's really not much to be done at 1 year with six teeth unless there is a problem.  He recommends waiting until 3 before taking a trip to the dentist.  If Ryne has teeth like mine, he may be taking a trip before then. (nota bene: I say this as I am drinking a Pepsi and eating Sour Patch Extreme  Soft and Chewy candy!)
I'm excited to see what the next month and next year holds!

Today's a Day to Celebrate!

First things first - it's Ryne's first Birthday!  I refuse to say that he's 1 yet though because he was born at 1:45 pm so I'm savoring every moment of still having my "baby!"  It's a happy but sad day.  It's hard to see your baby grow up.  He's starting to look like a little boy, not a baby!   It's also been hard on me because I made myself and Ryne some promises that I would be in a better position with work by the time he was a year old, and I'm actually farther behind than when I made the promise!  I feel a little like a let-down!
Anywho, another reason to celebrate is that Ryne slept 11 hours last night without waking up!  That gets a big WHOO HOO in my book!  We did our bedtime routine.  Bath, bottle, book, brush and bed, and he cried for about five minutes when I put him down and then I didn't hear another peep until 8:30 this morning!  He didn't nap all that well yesterday.  His morning nap was great!  I had to wake him up after two hours!  His afternoon nap was a nightmare - basically he didn't take one.  He was tired and kinda cranky the rest of the evening, which is really no fun at all!
It will be interesting to see how tonight goes because Adam's parents are coming up this evening.  I wonder how the extra excitement will affect him going down for bed.  Here's hoping for the best, but I think we are on the right track regardless!

Happy Birthday to my cute, sweet, charismatic little BOY!

Sleep Diary - Night 5

Last night was probably the best night overall!  We unintentionally strayed from the bedtime routine last night.  Adam gets home kind of late on Monday nights so by the time he gets home and we eat, there is not much time left in the evening before little boys should be going to bed.  We are currently looking into either buying or building another house since we have definitely grown out of ours in less than three years!  So last night we drove by another subdivision to look at a floor plan we like!  We got back home around 9 o'clock which is when I like to put the baby down for bed.  Ryne actually fell asleep on the car ride home, which I feared could be as disastrous as Saturday night.  However, I was able to get Ryne out of the car and into the house with him awake, but still drowsy.  I held him a minute while Adam got in the house and closed the garage door (since it makes a lot of noise).  Ryne had been taking a small bottle in the car before he fell asleep so I thought he might still be a little hungry so I put him down in the crib, knowing he would cry while I made another bottle.  I got the water in the bottle and realized that he wasn't crying anymore.  I waited a few minutes and only heard a little whining off and on for less than five minutes before he was out cold!  Whoo Hoo!  I was so excited not to have to let me crying for over an hour!  It's very stressful having to listen to your child cry that long, so I was excited for a break and I'm sure Ryne's lungs were excited for a break too!
Ryne did wake up last night - twice.  He woke up at 1:30 and cried a few minutes.  I got up to check on him, but didn't go in his room.  I listened from outside the door.  He had gas!  He fell back asleep, so I got back in bed.  He woke up again at 2 AM and I could tell over the monitor that it was gas again!  Poor little guy, it must really hurt.  He fell back asleep within a few minutes!  He slept until 7:30 this morning, so ten hours or so!  Let me reiterate - Whoo Hoo!
Hopefully last night wasn't just a fluke!  The ultimate goal is for Ryne to go down for bedtime and naps without too much crying and then to stay asleep for 8 - 10 hours at bedtime!  It seems that we have eliminated the nighttime feeding, which is fabulous!  Hopefully we will have a good report to give the doctor on Thursday at the well visit!