Thoughtful Thursday - Timeout

Originally I wasn't sure what I was going to post for this week's Thoughtful Thursday.  There are so many topics to choose from that it is hard to narrow it down to one.  However, yesterday we had another "first" in our house.  Ryne got put in timeout for the first time...and then a second and a third time!
Ryne has recently started yelling at people when we went to the store (Kroger, etc., where he sits in the shopping cart).  I originally thought he was yelling at them for attention, but when people were giving him attention he would shy away or act like he didn't want to be there anymore.  I think he is having some stranger anxiety, but nonetheless, the screaming and yelling has carried over into his behavior at home.  He thinks it is funny now to scream, even if he's not really mad.  Now let me explain this scream.  It is high-pitched, loud, and it usually makes my ears ring afterwards.  So needless to say, it gets annoying very quickly!

Ryne has NEVER responded well to me when I tell him "No."  He laughs and smiles.  I say it sternly, but he just thinks it's a joke, obviously.  A few weeks ago, he did start responding well when I said "stop" but now that doesn't even work.  So yesterday, Ryne was in his high chair and he started screaming.  I told him "no" several times and he kept grinning and screaming.  So finally I decided we were going to try timeout.  I hadn't thought about this beforehand so the only place I could put him was his crib.  So Ryne spent about a minute and a half in this crib.  He cried about 30 seconds and then started to calm down.

I posted something about it on Facebook because I felt like 13 months is a little early to start timeout but something has to be done and I didn't want to use his crib because he already has issues with it.  I had some great advice given.  One person suggested that I sit with Ryne in timeout or "quiet time," so he can't go anywhere.  Others told me to put him in a Bumbo seat or high chair in the corner but Ryne was in his high chair at the time he was misbehaving.  Trying to contain Ryne is hard, but I figured strapping him into something might make matters worse.  So I decided sitting with him was best.

Well shortly after getting out of timeout the first time he started his screaming business again.  I know he's doing it just to get a rise out of me.  I got down to his eye level, and told him no...twice.  After the second time when the screaming didn't stop, we immediately when to timeout.  We sat in the corner, where there were no toys or anything on the walls to entertain him.  I put my arms loosely around his to contain him, and we sat there for our 1 minute with him in my lap.  The I let him up and gave him kisses and hugs and then he grabbed my hand to take me to play with cars!  Success!

Ryne did end up back in timeout shortly after for hair pulling, but it made me think.  Another person that weighed in on the Facebook discussion said that some adults could benefit from the timeout time.  I totally agree.  Sitting with Ryne (even for a minute) gave me a chance to calm down and think.  So "timeout" is going to be more or less "thoughtful time."  I know it will take a long time for Ryne to truly grasp "thoughtful time" but I think the concept is a good idea.  Adults could use a "thoughtful time" or even a timeout!

So this week for Thoughtful Thursday, if you find yourself frustrated, angry with someone or something, overwhelmed, etc., take a some time out or "thoughtful time" to calm down and think things through.  Remember that it is better to respond than to react to something!